thank god its thanksgiving

So its Thanksgiving morning and I'm sitting here watching the beginning of the parade with my lovely wife. There is a cheerleading group first of all dancing to a collage of high energy songs that, I would imagine, is musical cocaine. It makes me feel awkward and anxious. I feel like I have an amazing boost of energy but not the energy to do anything about it.

Anyways, things are actually going ok (there's a commercial on right now that is a McDonalds McNuggets commercial that makes me want to punch someone. Considering my stance on spousal abuse I will refrain). It appears, although I don't believe its still actually official, that we have our home loan. We will know for certain next week I assume. It didn't work out perfect though. We are ending up paying about 40% down. Obviously we don't have that money ourselves. My parents are putting most of that down from their own home equity loan. So, as soon as we can, we will refinance our home and pay them back. We extended the move out date on our apartment as well, so we will have plenty of time to move out and will only have to move once. So, today I'm thankful for that and for parents who have the means and desire to help us.

Its hard to be thankful with all these dumbass performers in the parade.

Had a poker lesson on Tuesday. It went really well overall. I'm coming out of my downswing and have actually been running really well this week, up almost 5 buy ins in 3 short sessions. Still have a lot of ground to cover in order to recover the money we (I) lost on Sunday. On Tuesday, or whenever my next lesson is, we're going to move up to the next level, 100nl. I'm excited for that.

My god, some of these commercials make me wish murder was legal. Today I'm thankful for DVR. I'm also thankful for Endwar and Dexter.

And my animals. And my loverly wife.

tilty mcgee

On Sunday we decided to head out to Bay 101 to play a little poker. We used to go there frequently, but haven't gone in quite some time. So we went out and got a seat at a new table right away, at around 10:45ish. The first hand I raise, get two callers, and win it on the flop. I immediately comment that I should leave right away because when I win the first hand at Bay 101 (or anywhere for that matter) I tend to have a really bad session. We all give a sly chuckle and move on to the next hand where I am dealt jacks. I raise, get one caller. Bet the 9-8-4 flop, get basically min-raised, shove, get hero called by 55 and proceed to lose to running straight cards. That was basically the theme for the next hour, where I was dealt a slough of good starting hands and was either coolered or crushed by some piece of cheese. Just over an hour later I'm stuck 4 buy-ins and we left in shock, losing most of the money we came in with. I've had bad sessions like that before, but never that quickly. It was just amazing. I think I played pretty well overall, but it was just a session where nothing I did worked, and it all happened in a really short time. I just can't seem to win at Bay 101 anymore. Oh well. Now I just need to make sure I win a good amount online so we can have a good amount to bring to Vegas around Christmas.

In other news, it looks like we finally got our home loan. So the house is basically official and we're moving in within 2-3 weeks. Strangely I haven't been excited. I think the reason is that I/we have been so beaten by everything that has happened both recently and within the last few years that we have become cynical. This makes me sad because we're getting our first home and we're not excited. So tonight we talked about it and we're going to try and stop being so damn cynical all the time.

I find that I'm becoming so old and crotchety lately that I hardly get excited for anything. I get so cranky about stupid shit. Its kind of funny, but it also breaks me down slowly over time. Its time for a change I think.

what a time

So I'm sitting here in Panera with Catherine, doing work, playing some poker, and listening to the asian couple talk in some foreign tongue next to us. Things have been crazy lately. The turnaround is over finally and I've been at home the last few days helping Catherine take care of things. Its been nice to be with her after being apart for so long.

We move in about a week. Where to, we're not totally sure. While we know we have approval on the loan (I think), we don't yet have formal approval. And with escrow supposed to end, um, tomorrow, we need to get this taken care of soon. What a strange process this has been. I don't really know how to take it all in.

I've been on a down swing in poker lately. Nothing too bad but after not playing for two weeks, it sucks to come back to being variance's bitch. Its ok though, because I understand that this is just how it goes. Plus I have a lot of kinks to work out. I'm hoping to take a lot of coaching sessions between now and the end of the year. I want to not suck at poker anymore.

Everyone is on Facebook now and I don't get it yet. Even Catherine has opened an account and within 24 hours she has a bunch of "friends". Maybe Facebook is the new "cheers". Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name. Catherine wants me to join, but I'm not sure if I'm quite ready for that yet.

I'm beginning to tilt from poker...I may need to call it a day.

lifting the housing

So in a matter of days we lost the loan and then we got another loan. All happening in the middle of the turnaround, 10 days from close of escrow on the house. Ugh. It all is working out now though (allegedly) and the turnaround is finishing up. So that's good. I'm soooo excited for this thing to be finally done. I can feel alive again. I've been so out of touch with everything for two weeks straight and so much has been happening. I will finally be able to think everything through, to spend time with my friends and family, to handle all the issues that have been and continue to come up. It will be great, finally. I can't wait to play poker again. I can't wait to golf. I can't wait to play guitar and video games (veiled sdre reference). I can't wait to go on dates with my wife and walks with my dog. Aaaaaahhh. A sigh of relief.

I was able to play a little poker last night and I'm on the other side of variance right now. It was a rough session and I dropped one and half buy ins. I think I played ok though. I tried a couple high variance plays that were probably +EV overall, but didn't work out last night. Oh well. I feel like I'm improving and I showed some good patience last night, not paying off in frustrating spots and not trying to force the action with bad players. So I think I'm slightly encouraged, despite losing. I'm really excited for Vegas, to see how these things I'm learning translate to that setting. Another thing I can't wait for is a poker lesson.

life tilt

fuck.

uncock my shit

Its so hard to blog during the turnaround. Really, its hard to do anything during the turnaround. It is void that consumes my whole being and turns me into a zombie. I bet it gives me cancer.

I'm pretty tired, but I do have a day off tomorrow. I'm not sure what I'll do, just relax and be with my lady I guess. I would like to golf some but its supposed to rain sometime. So I'm not sure that will happen. I would also like to play some poker. I haven't played a hand in well over a week, which is the first time that's happened in a long while. I love poker and I miss it.

Speaking of poker, the WSOP final table starts tomorrow. Kevin wants me to not pay attention to any of it and just watch the ESPN show on Tuesday. But I'm not sure I'll be able to do that because that would mean I couldn't go on any poker websites for three days and probably couldn't listen to any new poker podcasts in that time as well. I'm not sure I could do that. I will probably pay attention to the first day when they play down to the final 2. Then I'll not pay attention and just see who won on Tuesday, like everyone else. I'm not sure yet though.

more stuff

So the meeting between my wife and her parents went reasonably well. Actually, it went about as well as it could have. They basically came to an understanding on how to make their relationships better, which is good. We then spent the rest of the weekend with them, which was good but weird. To go from a state of distrust and bitterness to a state where we hang out and have fun all day is just too weird. And that has been hard on Catherine. She's been really stressed out as a result of that and other things that are happening.

Things with the house are progressing slowly. We (hopefully) have given all the documents and info to the loan company that they need in order for them to decide if they should give us half a million dollars. The whole process has been very frustrating though, as whenever we think that we have given them everything we have to provide a few more documents. Oh well.

Only in California can we simultaneously deny law enforcement additional funding, but vote to add a speed train. We strike down the right of parental notification if their child wants an abortion, take away the rights of gays to get married, but overwhelmingly pass a law that forces farmers to allow a chicken that will eventually be slaughtered to have room in their cages to walk around. We barely pass legislation that allows for funding for childrens schools, and deny victims of crimes the right to be aware of criminal hearings but pass by a 2-1 margin proposition 2. My state has the political views of a 13 year old girl.

seriously, now this is getting ridiculous

So I have so much going on that I should be blogging about it all every freaking day, but I just can't find the time. Then I get to the point that there is so much to tell about what happened that its too overwhelming, so I don't want to write about it anymore. So I just have to tough it out and do what I need to do.

Still, I don't have time to write everything. Hopefully, as I get time I can write little snippets about what's happening.

Right now, the turnaround has started. For the unaware, a turnaround is when a chemical plant, or probably any plant, shuts down in order to perform maintenance that can't be done while operating. Since plants don't make money when they aren't operating there is a lot of pressure to get things done quickly, which means long hours and hectic pace. Yesterday was the first day and I worked over 14 hours. Today is looking the same. Its good money for our company, and the work is somewhat interesting, but I am already very tired. Still, once I get in my flow I will do fine I'm sure. I just have to find my flow.

Anyways, I need to go take care of something. More later.